- Keep your lips soft when you kiss.
Tense puckers are for family members or people you’re obligated to kiss, but keeping your mouth slightly parted and soft communicates a sense of openness.
Try to avoid letting your lips smack. The noise can be distracting, and might break your immersion in the moment. If you do find yourself smacking, slow down and part your lips a bit more.
Stay light at first. Avoid smashing your lips against your date’s mouth — for now. Kissing softly and gently gives the other person the chance to stop if it’s uncomfortable, as well as allowing you to gauge his or her interest.
3. Stay at a manageable level of saliva.
Slobbery puppies are the last thing you want your date thinking of while you kiss him or her. Avoid this fate by swallowing excess saliva occasionally. If you notice that your lips are a bit too wet, pull away and discreetly purse them to bring the extra spit back into your mouth.
4. “Lock” lips.
If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses (and is a nice gateway for French kissing). Basically, you’ll “stack” your lips so that (for instance) it looks like this:
Your lower lip
Your partner’s lower lip
Your upper lip
Your partner’s upper lip
At first, putting your date’s lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips.
5. Make sure to breathe.
Ideally, you’ll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you’re kissing. If that’s not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath.
Don’t feel self-conscious about being out of breath or needing to take a break for a second. Breathing hard is an indication that you’re nervous and excited, which your partner will probably find flattering.
Place your hands lightly on your partner’s shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on a boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.)
Take the intimacy up a notch by pulling your partner in closer.
Put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward.
Another seriously sensual move is to put both hands around the back of your partner’s head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
See how your partner responds. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you’re probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your date pulls away, maybe it’s best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner’s lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well.
Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner’s mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving — letting it sit limply in your partner’s mouth isn’t appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing.
Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
9. Mix it up.
Don’t feel obligated to keep the intensive tongue activity going forever. Alternate soft and hard, slow and fast, deep and shallow. You can even go back to using only your lips for a few minutes.
Alternating your technique will keep your partner from being able to predict what’s coming next. Maintaining this sense of surprise and spontaneity helps your kisses avoid becoming stale.
10. Gently nibble your partner’s lips (optional).
Teeth aren’t a necessary element of kissing, but a grazing them over your partner’s lip can introduce another unexpected element. Here are some quick pointers:
Keep the pressure as light as possible. Remember that you’re aiming to nibble, not bite.
Move slowly. Again, keeping your pace gentle will help prevent accidentally chomping on your partner’s lip.
When your lips are locked, place your teeth over your partner’s lower lip and slowly pull back until your teeth are almost at the end of the lip. Pause for a moment, then resume kissing as usual.
Don’t break out the biters too much. They should be an occasional perk, not the main attraction.
Be prepared for rejection. Not everyone likes a side of teeth with their kisses. If your partner doesn’t respond well, try not to be too offended — it’s probably a matter of personal taste, not a lapse in your technique.
11. Increase the intensity with occasional breaks.
Pull away for a moment to look into your partner’s eyes, whisper something in his or her ear, or simply catch your breath and marvel at your good fortune.
Instead of putting a damper on the action, these small moments can actually make kissing more intimate. It gives your partner the sense that you see him or her as a complete person, and not simply something to kiss.